Thoughts in Relationships [How to Listen]

Where do thoughts come from?

Generally from what we know, or think we know. They also come from what we make up.

In reality they are magnetic impulses from the brain that we put interpretations to. Our own unique interpretations.

Let’s consider the brain to be a muscle, like any other muscle. If we let it go unchecked, it will wander off on its own and continue to natter away with it’s own thoughts.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about it’s that little voice in your head that never shuts up, you know the one, it may even be saying What little voice? or I don’t have a little voice.

Unless we give our thoughts a continuous focus this little voice will continue to go off on it’s own merry way. It may even distract you as you are driving, or keep you up at night wondering off on its own, sometimes making stuff up about other people.

It’s also that little voice that is ready to speak at the next break in the conversation, wanting to say what it knows. It never shuts up, it’s full of opinions.

How can you really listen when you know what you want to say next? Time to take back control of your thoughts. So… here is the trick.

You need to say to yourself something along the lines of “Thank you for sharing but I am going to listen to this person and actually ‘get’ what they are saying”

In other words it is listening beyond that little voice.

It really is the key to learning anything new.

Total focus on what is being said … It is just about impossible to fully get the other person in a conversation if you don’t listen beyond your own thoughts.

Get what the other person is saying first, and then swing your thoughts into action.

This is the Key to Raise your Level of Listening in a Relationship.

 

Phil Pollard

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