What Can I Do to Save My Relationship?

You could also ask what have I done, or have not done, to have my relationship be in the state that it is in at the moment?

There are two areas to look at here. The first is the areas you have concerns over but zero influence, and the second is the areas you have concerns but can actually have some direct, or indirect, influence over in your relationship.

The areas that you have zero influence in are not worth your time or effort even clogging up your thoughts, things like the weather, or what others may say or think. You can have some indirect influence on what others think only by your consistent actions.

Let us concentrate all our thoughts and actions on the areas that we have total influence on. We have complete influence on how we react to any situation, how caring we can be, how loving we can be, how calm we can be, our attitude, etc.

Saying this in another way, it is how we ‘Be’, that will give what we ‘Do’ in any situation. Looking at it from your partners view, would they want to be with someone who is argumentative and points out their faults and shortcomings; Or would they want to be with someone who is thoughtful, caring and loving?

The key to all this is your consistency. It is how you are being all the time that will have the greatest influence over your relationship, however you need to be mindful, that if this is a massive transformation of your being, that others may be skeptical at first. The old ways will appear from time to time, and this is where you need to stay present, and be aware of how you are being at any given moment.

This will not be easy but it will have the greatest impact of any area that you can directly influence in your relationship.

Phil Pollard

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